Authorities Demand Finger Amputation Requirement For Owning Mobile Phone - 29th of April, 2018
Authorities Demand Finger Amputation Requirement For Owning Mobile Phone
Mike:Good evening and welcome to concave news, your most trusted news source on the interwebs. This is Mike.
Dana: And this is Dana.
Mike:Well it had to go down this route eventually Dana. Too much evidence on too many phones that is just inaccessible to the law enforcement agencies.
Dana:Surely there's a better solution Mike? Requiring an index finger to be collected by the authorities on purchase of a new mobile phone is possibly, just a little bit too far in anyone's view?
Mike:No, Dana - with technology moving the way it has - I'm sure the prosthetics the phone manufacturers supply will eventually even surpass the capabilities of the basic biological model we're all born with. It's progress Dana, the way of the future.
Dana:If this law passes I'm giving up my mobile phone.
Mike:You can't - it's in your contract, we supply you with that mobile phone and all of us will have to simply abide by the new regulation when it passes the parliament. Besides - you get it back when your phone contract is complete - it's not completely lost to you. The finger is cryogenically frozen for the two year period - so you only lose it for a short time.
Mike:It's really not that bad Dana.
Dana:You first then?
Mike:Ah, well I don't have to. There's an exemption list for those on the new ministerial office's 'friends' list.
Dana:Great. You know, sometimes there's things I wish I could say on television.
Mike:I know Dana, I know.