Concave Tales
With Mike and Dana

Written and conceived by Matt Lloyd 2018


New Study Shows Drinking Alcohol Bad For Primary School Children - 29th of April, 2018

New Study Shows Drinking Alcohol Bad For Primary School Children

Mike:Good evening and welcome to concave news, your most trusted news source on the interwebs. This is Mike.

Dana: And this is Dana.

Dana:I don't know how the scientists got funding for this, but in a new study it was shown that children as young as eight are affected badly by drinking alcohol. I'm a little stumped as to the necessity of such a study?

Mike:Of course Dana - it's highly important to the know the limits of human endurance at all levels and stages of life and this study merely confirms what we already knew about the effects of alcohol on young people.

Dana:Where's our ethics committee when we need them - surely testing on such young children is a bad idea?

Mike:No, no no Dana - these children volunteered. They were fully capable of making such a decision for themselves, the parents were in no way responsible, nor the other adults involved.

Dana:Mike - one of these children was hospitalised as a result of alcoholic poisoning - I fail to see how they can be responsible for their actions at that age.

Mike:We're all responsible for our actions Dana, if a child wants to be part of a study of such nature then I'm all for it.

Dana:I'd have to disagree with you on this one Mike.

Mike:I notice part of the study tested these children's ability to drive a motorcycle before, during and after consuming alcohol.

Dana:Utter madness.


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